Bridget Pears features of a depressive illness; learning to cope with it and hold it at bay is a crucial part of recovery. Ordering your life and dealing with day-to-day tasks needs planned effort. A housewife explains how she came to monitor her moods, accepted the ups and

A total lack of energy is

downs,

one

and

of the

planned

During the long unhappy period that followed a prolonged attack of acute depression, I was often very lacking in energy and found that the simplest task assumed enormous proportions. In order to keep things ticking over at all, I did but the barest essentials and neglected everything else. Mending got ignored, our farm accounts got hopelessly in arrears and I had neither time nor inclination for all my usual hobbies. Even to do the minimum I had to fix my mind resolutely on the most outstanding task and somehow make myself finish it. Work was done on a day-to-day priority basis. Very gradually the depression passed, but not before it had taught me how to make the best possible use of my time. While still very weary, I evolved various hints for self-help. Muddle makes even the cleanest house look unkempt. Mine wasn't very clean anyway, so I renewed my efforts to keep tidy and resolutely cleared up old newspapers, discarded jerseys, empty envelopes, etc. before they had a chance to pile up and depress me by sheer quantity.

Removing

the obstacles

little task would somehow day look difficult. It was probably a stupid thing, like oiling a squeaky door or unjamming a drawer?just something out of routine. Once this job was done, the relief was immediate. Many daily tasks are inescapable, but when it comes to more adventurous jobs I always try to plan

Quite

'block'

often

me

one

niggling

and make the whole

most common

her work

accordingly.

wisely. For example, if there is a heavy day's paperwork scheduled, I try to tackle it on a day when I feel really keen to do it and get down to work early. Later on in the day, when I may be rather fatigued mentally, I shall still be as capable of washing-up or dusting. Similarly, I prefer to do any cutting-out of material while the children are at school?and polish

my time

later! If any visitor to my house should see a pile of washing-up in the sink at 5.30?well, let her. It doesn't matter. If the essential requirements of housekeeping are fulfilled, then it is entirely up to you if you work till 10.30 one night of the week and spend another afternoon reading. (I am of course supposing that these arrangements do not seriously inconvenience other members of the household.) Some days one has a superabundance of energy and can move mountains. Then there are times when everything takes ages. So long as one is not sidetracked into spending time on attractive?but unnecessary?projects, one can be sure that it will all even up before the week's out. Also?'Do it nowV If you're hurrying to go out you won't want to stop and mop up grimy marks on the paintwork. But if you're merely clearing dishes when you notice them?well, isn't it more sense to do the job then, rather than chalk up yet another task to be fitted in? The dog taught me a lesson. If he thinks it's getting past his supper-time he contrives to get constantly in my way. So, if I put an unattractive job in a place where I have to keep on looking at it, the very sight of the wretched thing annoys me so much that I have to attend to it quickly in self-defence! 47

I

have

pile of plain hand-sewing, this whenever a close friend through comes for the day. This leaves me free to chat for hours with no guilty feeling of wasted time. If you are not naturally particularly houseproud, be sensible and keep up a steady level of work that will be sufficient to produce at least a reasonable standard. A sudden, over-enthusiastic burst of spring-cleaning will probably induce a violent antipathy to polish and always

seem

to

a

but I try to work

pail. Emergencies are always unexpected. Keep adequate store cupboard and a goodish reserve

an

of clean linen; the household can then run itself for a few days without undue difficulty. A deep-freeze is certainly a marvellous aid to home management but is by no means essential. (I know?I lived without electricity for the first nine years of my marriage.)

Planning

the week ahead

It

helps me to make a rough plan of the week ahead, getting some idea of the amount of time available for special jobs. This exists as a general guide only, since some interruptions or changes can't be foreseen. Sometimes one is extra busy. A dentist's appointment, a school medical and a parent-teacher association meeting fall in the same week as an unexpected trip that involves a whole day out. In that case, accept right away that that new dress won't be finished till next week; don't struggle to do the impossible. I have finally admitted to myself that my own work pattern is clearly of the fits-and-starts variety. This much accepted, I no longer find it disturbing that I have periods of frantic activity followed by days of lying relatively fallow. I can achieve an enormous amount on my energetic days and am rarely idle on slacker ones, though much less efficient. I find that it really does help my morale enormously if I always make time early in the morning to put on proper make-up, even though I expect to remain indoors all day. If I promise myself to fit it in later on, I seldom get round to doing so, and then a casual glimpse in the mirror shows such a depressing, so

messy creature! If you, too, are of the

'up-or-down' temperament, try to accept the fact and learn how to live with it. When you feel like work, really get on with it?but still take adequate rest. If you have a lethargic spell, do the best you can without forcing the pace. Sometimes it helps to promise yourself the 'treat' of a day spent on your favourite hobby. Above all, don't feel guilty if you know you haven't done as much today as you did yesterday.