Family-Centered Care
Why NICU Nurses Mean So Much to Parents Deborah Discenza, MA
AbstrAct Disclosure The author has no relevant financial interest or affiliations with any commercial interests related to the subjects discussed within this article. No commercial support or sponsorship was provided for this educational activity.
Parents of premature infants are grateful for their child’s NICU nurse. take a step onto the parent’s side and see the top ten reasons parents are grateful for the nurses, and you might see some surprises. Keywords: preemie; parent; appreciate; NICU; nurse
N
ICU NUrses ofteN hear aboUt how
Accepted for publication November 2013.
they are appreciated by parents of premature babies, but usually it is in the form of cookies, a well-meaning card, and hugs. here are the top ten reasons NICU nurses are so revered by parents of premature babies: 1. NICU nurses are fellow nurturers of the baby. remember, this infant was born under a complicated situation, and the parents are reeling from that moment and attempting to “right” themselves as new parents. the baby is nurtured by the parents but cannot be so 24 hours a day, seven days a week. Knowing that you are helping to lovingly care for their child gives these parents the peace of mind to be able to go home and handle matters there and hopefully rest and prepare for the next day. Parents are grateful for that respite and the fact that you have their back. 2. NICU nurses are the first parenting teachers for parents. Most parents of newborns are working with a postpartum nurse or had some information taught to them in Lamaze class. Parents of premature babies likely had no Lamaze class and, even more likely, are caught up in back-and-forth visits to the NICU and missing time with a postpartum nurse, a lactation consultant, or other professionals who can provide teaching. NICU nurses give parents a first-class education in not only parenting a high-risk infant but also in how to do all of those “parenting things” that are often inappropriately taught to them
by well-meaning grandparents, family members, and friends. 3. NICU nurses see beyond the medical equipment. Many family members and friends around the baby may look at the child as an oddity at first. after all, premature babies attached to medical equipment do not make cute first baby pictures in the typical sense. Parents feel hurt hearing the less-than-appropriate comments regarding how the baby appears to others. they want to celebrate their baby regardless, and the nurses help them do that. Despite the concerns about medical and developmental issues, celebrating is part of the NICU. a baby is still a baby and still needs love and nurturing. telling a parent that her child is adorable and has such lovely eyes (lovely cheeks, nice long fingers and toes) will make you a hero. 4. NICU nurses want the best for the baby and, as a result, for the family. although the nurse and the parents may not always see eye-to-eye 100 percent of the time, they will all agree that they are focused on the best interests of the baby. the nurses worry about those babies as each family goes home from the NICU, and the parents know it. Planes have copilots, and parents of premature babies are grateful for their nurses who are coparents. 5. NICU nurses take those calls in the wee hours of the morning, during the day, and at night. Parents heading home worry about their infant in the
N E O N ATA L N E T W O R K 166
© 2014 Springer Publishing Company http://dx.doi.org/10.1891/0730-0832.33.3.166
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7.
8.
9.
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NICU. They call to check in and to their greatest relief they get their child’s nurse on the phone to get an update. To hear the nurse say, “I am Becky’s nurse, and your daughter is absolutely beautiful and is having a great evening” as a greeting is pure joy that lasts all day. When there is a tough day for the baby or even just the parent, NICU nurses can really help. A hug for a parent, “talking” to the baby about his or her wonderful parents while the family is present, leaving a “love note” taped to the incubator from the baby to the family—all of these things really help release the stress and make the family feel loved and cared for as a unit. NICU nurses worry about the babies as much as the families do. When a NICU nurse is calling in or comes in on a day off to check in on a baby, that effort is so appreciated. To know that others in the unit are rooting for their baby makes a huge difference to parents. NICU nurses have a unique 360-degree view of the family as a whole and can make the ultimate difference between success and failure for that baby. In the NICU, it is the nurse who is connected to every part of that baby’s care—the medical, nutritional, developmental, and therapeutic professionals—and who helps with the bonding and education with families. But beyond this, an empathetic NICU nurse has the most influence on a baby’s future and that family’s future with just a kind word, a shoulder, or advice on how to handle any problems they might have. When a baby dies, the NICU nurse is there through to the end and beyond. It takes a really special person to be able to help a family through the death of their child and to lovingly care for that baby’s postmortem needs after the family leaves the unit. NICU nurses don’t just take a job; they have a calling. It takes a very special type of person to work in the NICU. Parents often liken their favorite NICU nurses to that of “hero” or “saint.” These are not just feint praises. They are true.
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About the Author
Deborah Discenza, MA, is the coauthor of The Preemie Parent’s Guide to Survival in the NICU available for purchase at http://www .PreemieWorld.com. Also on the website are free PDF download materials for families in its “Freebies4You” section. Ms. Discenza moderates one of the largest online communities devoted to parents of premature babies, the “Preemie Support” forum at http://www .inspire.com. For further information, please contact: Deborah Discenza, MA 5605 Eastbourne Drive Springfield, VA 22151-1608 E-mail: [email protected]
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Why NICU Nurses Mean So Much to Parents Deborah Discenza, MA
AbstrAct Disclosure The author has no relevant financial interest or affiliations with any commercial interests related to the subjects discussed within this article. No commercial support or sponsorship was provided for this educational activity.
Parents of premature infants are grateful for their child’s NICU nurse. take a step onto the parent’s side and see the top ten reasons parents are grateful for the nurses, and you might see some surprises. Keywords: preemie; parent; appreciate; NICU; nurse
N
ICU NUrses ofteN hear aboUt how
Accepted for publication November 2013.
they are appreciated by parents of premature babies, but usually it is in the form of cookies, a well-meaning card, and hugs. here are the top ten reasons NICU nurses are so revered by parents of premature babies: 1. NICU nurses are fellow nurturers of the baby. remember, this infant was born under a complicated situation, and the parents are reeling from that moment and attempting to “right” themselves as new parents. the baby is nurtured by the parents but cannot be so 24 hours a day, seven days a week. Knowing that you are helping to lovingly care for their child gives these parents the peace of mind to be able to go home and handle matters there and hopefully rest and prepare for the next day. Parents are grateful for that respite and the fact that you have their back. 2. NICU nurses are the first parenting teachers for parents. Most parents of newborns are working with a postpartum nurse or had some information taught to them in Lamaze class. Parents of premature babies likely had no Lamaze class and, even more likely, are caught up in back-and-forth visits to the NICU and missing time with a postpartum nurse, a lactation consultant, or other professionals who can provide teaching. NICU nurses give parents a first-class education in not only parenting a high-risk infant but also in how to do all of those “parenting things” that are often inappropriately taught to them
by well-meaning grandparents, family members, and friends. 3. NICU nurses see beyond the medical equipment. Many family members and friends around the baby may look at the child as an oddity at first. after all, premature babies attached to medical equipment do not make cute first baby pictures in the typical sense. Parents feel hurt hearing the less-than-appropriate comments regarding how the baby appears to others. they want to celebrate their baby regardless, and the nurses help them do that. Despite the concerns about medical and developmental issues, celebrating is part of the NICU. a baby is still a baby and still needs love and nurturing. telling a parent that her child is adorable and has such lovely eyes (lovely cheeks, nice long fingers and toes) will make you a hero. 4. NICU nurses want the best for the baby and, as a result, for the family. although the nurse and the parents may not always see eye-to-eye 100 percent of the time, they will all agree that they are focused on the best interests of the baby. the nurses worry about those babies as each family goes home from the NICU, and the parents know it. Planes have copilots, and parents of premature babies are grateful for their nurses who are coparents. 5. NICU nurses take those calls in the wee hours of the morning, during the day, and at night. Parents heading home worry about their infant in the
N E O N ATA L N E T W O R K 166
© 2014 Springer Publishing Company http://dx.doi.org/10.1891/0730-0832.33.3.166
M AY / J U N E 2 0 1 4 , VO L . 3 3 , N O . 3
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.
NICU. They call to check in and to their greatest relief they get their child’s nurse on the phone to get an update. To hear the nurse say, “I am Becky’s nurse, and your daughter is absolutely beautiful and is having a great evening” as a greeting is pure joy that lasts all day. When there is a tough day for the baby or even just the parent, NICU nurses can really help. A hug for a parent, “talking” to the baby about his or her wonderful parents while the family is present, leaving a “love note” taped to the incubator from the baby to the family—all of these things really help release the stress and make the family feel loved and cared for as a unit. NICU nurses worry about the babies as much as the families do. When a NICU nurse is calling in or comes in on a day off to check in on a baby, that effort is so appreciated. To know that others in the unit are rooting for their baby makes a huge difference to parents. NICU nurses have a unique 360-degree view of the family as a whole and can make the ultimate difference between success and failure for that baby. In the NICU, it is the nurse who is connected to every part of that baby’s care—the medical, nutritional, developmental, and therapeutic professionals—and who helps with the bonding and education with families. But beyond this, an empathetic NICU nurse has the most influence on a baby’s future and that family’s future with just a kind word, a shoulder, or advice on how to handle any problems they might have. When a baby dies, the NICU nurse is there through to the end and beyond. It takes a really special person to be able to help a family through the death of their child and to lovingly care for that baby’s postmortem needs after the family leaves the unit. NICU nurses don’t just take a job; they have a calling. It takes a very special type of person to work in the NICU. Parents often liken their favorite NICU nurses to that of “hero” or “saint.” These are not just feint praises. They are true.
N 5 3 M 3 M
About the Author
Deborah Discenza, MA, is the coauthor of The Preemie Parent’s Guide to Survival in the NICU available for purchase at http://www .PreemieWorld.com. Also on the website are free PDF download materials for families in its “Freebies4You” section. Ms. Discenza moderates one of the largest online communities devoted to parents of premature babies, the “Preemie Support” forum at http://www .inspire.com. For further information, please contact: Deborah Discenza, MA 5605 Eastbourne Drive Springfield, VA 22151-1608 E-mail: [email protected]
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